Sunday, February 20, 2005

Sitting with feelings

I was surprised to hear that it can be considered absolutely acceptable to just sit with your feelings! So often, society and media encourage us to "fix" the feeling, imply that it's too much, if it's felt, we will be consumed.

Certainly, I've experienced it, identifying a less than pleasant feeling, and my automatic response is- how can I address this to aliviate the feeling? So when my counsellor suggested just sitting with a feeling, embracing it.... well, I was skeptical.

Strangely enough, however, I have found it effective. Just laying back and floating in the intensity of emotion. Could it be that the harder I struggle to fight off an emotion, that it only increases the intensity? Now I say that, because I've never had an experience when I've wanted to "fix" a positive emotion. Could my struggle amid the muck, only bury me deeper?

Perhaps by being brave enough to stare our struggles right in the eye, we've already prove ourselves victorious.Maybe the valliant effort I've put in to fending off personal dragons, maybe that just wears me down, creating the illusion that the emotion is larger than myself.

I hope I'll remember that the next time I'm told to suck it up!


SkyMoma said...

Wow! What a profound revelation. Maybe this is why my dd (darling daughter) stews for ages when we try to distract or cajole her out of anger, but when we encourage her to stomp and scream, addressing the anger directly, she moves through the feeling quickly, then finds herself on the other side, happy and sunny and easy to be around. The challenge, I can see, is how to parent myself the same way....