Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Why Paint

Why do I paint?

I have been wrestling with the question for the last couple of days, it seems I have begun to grow discouraged. However discouragement is another topic completely, and tonight, it is...

"Why do I paint?"

I paint because I have to. I think. Rather perhaps, I have to be creative, hmmm, I think it goes beyond creative. I have to be artistic. I differentiate between creative and artistic on one technicality: there are millions ways to be creative. Not quite as many 'creative' activities offer the expression, the challenge, the journey, the unknown.

I certainly do not paint to earn a living!! Unfortunate but true. A living cannot be substanstiated from painting alone. At least not from this woman.

Somehow, somewhere along the line, I got the message that if I am not able to make money at it, it must not be worth it. Yet, my artmaking is worth it. Even worth the investment on my part. Who cares! It goes beyond the euphoria of praise on the evening of a reception, it is the expression. My expression. My communication.

My thumbmark, evidence that I was here. I came, I saw, I painted.

Yet this pesky dollar keeps coming into it. Perhaps this too shall pass. Hope so.